Celebrity Verses Poetry: Conchita Wurst

                                  Best Wurst


Suck it, Russia!
Europe’s new sweetheart,
bearded lady beauty
has risen, all sparkle prominence
and drag queen Jesus.

Dearest Conchita,
a confidence and jewel
encrusted nymph
beard and nails
well manicured,
silhouette a gender
bending Oscar.

But, lo!
Let us not be seduced!
Her triumph shall
create The Sodom Show,
The Blatant Homosexual
Propaganda Variety Hour,
Moral Degradation—LIVE!,
and Passing on Perversity
to Our Soon-Gay Sons Spectacle.

Or, perhaps,
the bearded lady
made ring leader
will recreate the sideshow—
Come one and all! See
The Rich Old Leathery B-Ball Racist!
Marvel at the absurdity of the
The Christ-Cured “Non” Gay!
Watch the mysterious rhythmic language of
The Toe-Tapping Glory Holed Hypocrite!
Gasp at the irate drawl of
The Rick Santorum!

We’ll create a gender Pangaea
gradient of body hair and curves
binaries counting coins
in their sideshow trailers,
choosing who to hate.