Celebrity Verses Poetry: The F Word


The F Word

Ye feted infantile figures
united in the clarion call:
“No I’m not a feminist
I love men!”

Shailene “clay eater” Woodley,
so uninteresting to talk of equality
when you could be sharing pants
and avoiding labels (on ideas my dear
certainly not clothing)
oh and medical-grade lullabiest
Lana del Rey has opened
her steamed pork bun lips
to speak of feminism
as—ugh! SO BORING!
like that Bio II final
“more interested in, you know,
SpaceX and Tesla, what’s going
to happen with our
intergalactic possibilities.”

Shailene proto-Paltrow,
Lana del Restylane,
would rather speak
of sisterhood and aliens
than join the feminazi army,
that outdated, misandrous,
rageful beast all army boot
and unkempt hair,
all bullhorn tirades
not to be murdered
for being female,
not to be reduced to
tit fuck hole red lips
smile clean demure machine.

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