Celebrity Verses Poetry: Jared Leto

jared leto

Flaxen haired gradient of rock supergoddom

Oh Jordan Catalano,
how many seconds to Uranus?

You are the most beautiful
cartoon chipmunk,
eyes wide open
to a soul as shallow
as memorial pools.

Your ombre locks
the envy of ponies,
were you my little,
your rump might bear
the mark of Oscar.

Oh Bartholomew Cubbins,
direct my life into that
unique mixture of
Julie Taymor & Michael Bay
explosive tiger crane shots,
a sieveless regurgitation
of grandiosity.

Oh elven ambassador,
delay thy return
to mystic lands,
so that our starved eyes
may feast upon thy flawless
skin like hungry dogs
begging for their master’s supper.
Let thy heavenly power chords
and whisper charm bless
this soiled land
before returning, triumphant
with that EGOT, awaiting
its majestic pedestal
in the glory of Rivendell.


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